I find myself single for the first time in what might feel like an eternity (two years, to be exact). To the eyes of a newly initiated college gal in single-hood, the rules have changed since the last time I was dating (though, I wouldn’t call it that way- it was more like kiss the guy you like most, never really date him). Of course, I got older and wiser (maybe), but something else has changed. The criteria for choosing a new mate has evolved pretty quickly. It was only last year, when my girlfriends were deciding who to go out with based on looks and social status. But these days, the endless checklist we have created to select our partners goes far beyond looks and social skills. And while, entering college might have meant social freedom and youthful desires before, for women, it doesn’t anymore.
Dating in college, as I have seen, is not longer about who you sit next to or how well you play basketball (two things that shamelessly mattered to me before). Women are no longer interested in dating the guy that is cool for smoking pot or the sporty jock who is too cocky for words. It’s a thing I have noticed though that men don’t think the same way, in that they still consider themselves as attractive to the female population based on the criteria mentioned before. What is this game we are playing? Can we ever get to an agreement?
“How do you know men still find themselves cool that way?”, you might ask. Well, I see it. I observe it in every guy in each of my classes. Suddenly walks in wearing a bearing biceps tank top, fly sunglasses, tall, great hair, walks like a male model off the catwalk, talks about the joint he had before class. It’s just a matter of analyzing their behavior to know that this is still true: men are still in high school. Or at least, the freshmen I have met.
Interesting conversations have emerged on this topic while at lunch with my friends. They say they no longer want to date a guy just for being cool or hot. The high school pettiness of liking a guy for such merits is over. Women don’t care about that; we want stimulating conversations about Rousseau and the Middle East; we want to watch other channels that are not just ESPN; we want to talk about professionalism, a real future (doesn’t have to be together) and the goals you set yourself. Intellect is the greatest form of sexiness. Is that too much to ask for?
Back to the question: “can we get to an agreement?” I am still hope ful that men will some day wake up and realize it’s not cool for you to smoke every day or be 25 and still trying to finish your Bachelor’s. It takes real maturity, confidence and seriousness to date a girl in college (though there are exceptions). And for those women who still date these specimens, I pray for you.
I always asked myself while looking at the jocks in high school: “Man, what are they going to do when they are not charming for scoring the winning basket or being the class clown?” I can see it now. They belong with the rest of us: hopeful, young adults in search of a soul mate in a new world ruled by intellect. Only the fittest might survive.