There comes a time in every 20-something girl’s life when her Facebook feed is flooded with pictures, statuses and videos announcing the pregnancy of those women around her. Friends and family, no matter the age, start forming families of their own, yet you are sitting on your couch eating Ben n Jerry’s ice cream with a glass of wine (weird mix, I know). The list keeps on growing. People you never thought of as potential mothers enter the club, as if motherhood was a members only society you need to become part of.
I asked myself, why do young women feel the need to all get pregnant at the same time? It’s because we are all programmed to do it. Right when you turn 20, your family starts bombarding you with questions about your relationship status, upcoming wedding and potential pregnancy (believe me, it’s already started for me). And once a close friend or family member your own age gets pregnant, the pressure to become part of the club is on. I’ve witnessed how first-time mothers invite single girls to join the club just so their kids could hang out with each other. It doesn’t work that way, babes.
Motherhood is a choice, and a very crucial, committed one. No woman should become a mother for fear of getting too old or being exiled from their group of friends for being the only child-less member left. It’s a decision to be made with logic and heart that should take into consideration many elements of your current life status such as income, partner, housing, career and availability. Once these have been taken into consideration, a woman should analyze if she’s committed to this as an individual because, regardless of any pressures, the motherhood book club will not pay for her child’s 18-year-long education.
A child is not a 9-month compromise. It’s a life-long journey that should commence only when you are ready.
Originally published in 2014 on Young Adult.