What is modern love?

On the verge of Valentine’s Day, I find myself with an endless list of questions in mind about the topic at discussion: love. What is it? Where does it come from? Are we all entitled to feel it? Is there a perfect love? How do we find love? It goes on. One thing I am sure is that the times have changed. The way my parents dated is not the same way I date. Modern love is happening. But, what is it?

The other day, I was having lunch with my friend #1 and friend #2. Friend #1 was concerned about whether she loved her lover (or whatever he is) or not. She had gone to a card reader and he had told her that she loved him. So, why was she still questioning her feelings? Her question was: How do I know I really love him? I felt hopeless. How could I tell her what, when or how to feel? Friend #2 asked her a series of questions: “Do you feel you love him?” “Are you ready to settle?” “For how long have you been feeling like this?” The truth was we could not tell her how to feel. To me, it was modern love: the kind where an 18-year-old college student was dating a 22-year-old guy with a 1 year-old son. Love.

Things like this didn’t happen before the Facebook era. The Internet, modernism and feminism have changed the dating game forever. Nowadays, girl date when they are sixteen and 30-year-olds have their first babies. It’s a different type of love: modern love, when Skype, Oovoo and Facebook can overcome the barriers of distance, time and physical presence. Was that what Mark Zukerberg had in mind? I don’t think so.

Without being aware of it, our hearts and minds have been changed. We have become more realists, we date online, we don’t send love letters and relationships can be broken off without hesitation. Everlasting love is not a topic of discussion. Relationships have become trash-able, as has love. This is, one again, modern love.

But has love really gone out of style? I’m eager to find out, especially with the couples that surround me. Take Cousin #1 and Cousin-in-law #1, for example. They have been dating for six years now. They are not the PDA kind of couple, any big romantic gestures or public expressions. You might think they are not the biggest lovebirds, but six years after, they get my romantic approval. A true modern couple.

Move over Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City is so 2010. Modern love is the newest of the
new. Welcome to my newest column!